Welcoming Party for Carter

We're having a party for Carter next weekend.  If you want to come, please email me at shelliedp@gmail.com and let me know so we can send you an evite!  I will post again soon. 

We are doing great!  Carter had his first beach experience this past weekend.  He slept the whole time!  Hope you all are well!

First Road Trip

   Jett Christian Janowski

Well, what a weekend!  Carter and I tagged along with some of our friends, Ailee and Omesh, up to see my grandmother and brother, along with his wife and newborn boy!  How wonderful!  Seriously, it is so much fun having babies at the same time as my little brother.  His boy, born 9 days before Carter on March 20, is precious.  He has a head full of hair and I think looks like my sister's baby pictures.  He is a good baby and such a great disposition.  Austin is such a great daddy and Brittany is a wonderful mama.  It is amazing to watch them with Jett and even with Carter.  I'm going to miss not being very close to them over the years, but if we make a point it could be great only seeing each other a couple times a year; it'll give the boys something to look forward to! 

I must confess, it might have been a little early in Carter's life to make such a trip, but I think now it's worth it.  He did absolutely phenomenal on the ride up to Georgia!  He only fussed when he wanted to eat or needed a diaper change.  He slept or just chilled, staring out the back window the whole way up and back down.  While we were there he was a bit fussy.  We didn't arrive until 1:45 am Friday morning, so even though he slept a lot in the van, it still messed up Carter's system and he didn't recover until Sunday morning.  I was beginning to wonder if our chill baby wasn't going to be so chill after all.  Thankfully, it was just the funky schedule and new environment that overstimulated him and now he has returned to "normal."  I'm going to call the difference in him as Georgia Carter and Florida Carter.  I prefer the Florida Carter!

On the way home, his umbilical cord finally fell off!  What a relief because I was getting tired of the screaming that came with the cleaning it and putting on the alcohol.  They say it doesn't hurt them, it's just the cold of the alcohol; I'm just glad it's off.  I think he's going to have an inny belly button-we'll see though.

At his last visit to the pediatrician, Dr. Lisa Ramey (whom I absolutely love and would recommend if you need a good wholistic pediatrician in Orlando), he weighed 9lbs 12 oz and was 22 inches long.  So in 2 1/2 weeks he's gained over a pound and grown an inch.  That's pretty good for a little guy.  Scotty and I and our families are trying to guess how big he's going to be.  Scotty says at least 6' 2."  I think he will be big as well.  You should see his hands and feet!  They have been "huge" from day 1.  Our midwife, the nurses and the doctors, along with many others can't get over how big they are.  I say, if babies are like puppies, then we have a big boy on our hands!  We'll see.  Whatever size he is will be fine with me, as long as he remains healthy!  He's going to learn how to be big and healthy if he turns out to be a big boy.  No matter his size, he's going to know how to be healthy!  

So, I will save it for another post, but over the weekend I really began to think about how do we as parents raise kids that have similar experiences and ones that are gracious towards us as we are gracious towards them.  I mean we are not going to do a lot of things right, neither is Carter, but overall our heart is bent towards his and the good of our other kids.  How do we raise him so that he is not bitter towards our failings, but rather filled with gratitude for our good-will towards him.  This makes me think of something in our marriage counseling.  It's the idea that your spouse has your good in mind.  It's not like he wakes up in the morning and thinks, "Hmm, how can I make Shellie mad today?"  The same way that I do not try to hurt Scotty.  If in the midst of strife or hurt, I tell myself that Scotty is not out to get me, in fact, that he has good-will towards me, it helps me deal with the situation at hand more rationally and realistically.  I want our kids to know that we are not out to get them or limit their enjoyment of life, but rather that we have good intentions towards them and want them to succeed and they need to know that we are going to fail them in our efforts.  I just pray that somehow each of our kids will recognize our love and good will towards them and be able to forgive us for our mess ups and failures.  I will continue to pray that because I know Scotty and I can't do that for them!

He's definitely crying not laughing!

We are at the beginning of a great adventure!  And it's going to be a wild one and I love it!

The healing process

There are so many things that are cut, torn, broken and changed when a new life enters this world.  The umbilical cord, the mama, the placenta, the male baby, the feeding process--all these things are hurt in order for them to heal.  Some of the pain is necessary and unavoidable, some of it must be learned and corrected through experience.  I think birth is a great introduction to life-with life comes pain; and yet with life comes healing!  God is so amazing in the whole process of life.  

I remember when Scotty and I got married and I was so overwhelmed with the correlation between marriage and my relationship with God.  Marriage must be intentional, but the reality is, most of the time, we are just two people committed to doing life together and we interact on a real level, not a superspiritual high.  It's the same with God.  He's not into the, "how long do you pray, are you going to church, did you read the Bible today," just like Scotty is not judging our relationship on the time that I talked to him on the phone, or how often I go to his work, or how many times I reread his letters.  Our quality of our relationship is measured by the intimacy and connectedness in every day life from making his lunches to kissing him when he comes in the door to chatting about nothing at supper to playing flag football alongside him.  The serious side comes into play too because if we are not on the same page about finances, or kids, or activities or sleep then we are disconnected.  This is how my relationship with God is-God cares about us on a daily basis and He wants us to be connected to Him; which simple means acknowledging Him throughout the day and chatting with Him as I would Scotty.  Stay with me, this is going back to the baby.  

So just as marriage pointed me to God, so has 

motherhood. What is it that God told Adam and Eve at the very beginning "Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth and subdue it.  Rule over the fish in the sea, the birds in the air and every living creature that crawls on the earth.  Here!  Throughout the whole earth I am giving you as food every seed-bearing plants...(see Genesis 1:28-31 for the rest).  Later on after Adam and Eve disobeyed, God addressed these two things again: multiply and food.  He said that

 the pain of childbirth would increase (and boy was He not lying!) and that we would have to work hard to eat from it (the land) as long as we lived.  Anyone want to second that.  I mean, childbirth is painful and we are all working hard in order to survive, especially in the current state that we are in.  God came through on His word!  But that isn't even where I am going with this.  Motherhood has pointed me to God, because within it I am fulfilling one of the roles that God has for me.  It is amazing to sit back and enjoy Carter and love on him and care for him and know that this is who God made me to be.  I don't have to be immersed in Bible study or committed to hours of prayer to be near God; I just have to care for my child because that is what God has called me to do.  And then I love this! "They heard the voice of Adonai, God, walking in the garden at the time of the evening breeze" Genesis 3:8. The idea is that throughout the day we fulfill our role as humans, whatever it is from caring for children or working to put food on the table and then in the evening God comes over to take a stroll with us.  He just wants to chat to see how your day was, to offer His assistance, to hang out.  Marriage. motherhood and God.  It's a good lesson. 

Don't pressure yourself in the midst of a chaotic life to have the perfect relationship with God or have your life all put together.  Learn to talk to God here and there.  For me, it's as a change a diaper of 8th time today or feed Carter (that's a whole lot of time) or as I fix dinner or clean the toilets.  It's not long; it's not fancy; it's just me talking to the greatest God ever.  And He loves it when I'm real, just me and Him.

Carter is sleeping now, oblivious to the world around him.  He doesn't know real life yet, how hard it is, but he does experience some pain, which is preparing him for life.  His umbilical cord still has to fall off, so the cold of the alcohol brings screams to his mouth still.  And his little broken clavicle still hurts if I pick him up wrong (yes, I try not to).  His head has totally healed from being scraped and squeezed during delivery, his circumcision has healed.  So in his short life, he has already experienced healing!  

How amazing that with life comes pain, but also healing and we can get that from day 1.  The problem we have though later on in life, is that after we've been hurt, we never allow ourselves to experience healing.  I cannot tell you how many people I know, including myself for a long time, allowed the pain and hurt of the past to continually fester up and impact their todays. When something is injured physically it takes time and rest and sometimes the help of others to heal.  We need to do the same for emotional and mental hurts. God showed us how to handle life.   We cannot live pain-free, but we can live full of healing!  May we all find healing in the coming weeks!

Day 10 and Sleep

It is amazing that ten days have passed since Carter entered this world!  I cannot begin to tell you how precious he is and how much I already love being a mama; not that I doubted it ever! 

So sleep is interesting when you have a baby.  It's here and maybe there.  Carter has done well though, to where I have gotten at least 3-4 hours of sleep at night.  Last night though he surprised us and slept for 5 straight hours.  I tried to wake him at 3.5 hours to feed but he refused so off to sleep I went!  I don't expect that much, but God was gracious to allow me a long stretch of sleep.  It's so crazy though, I mean, there is no sleeping for long stretches of time anymore!  No chance of it, and yet, I am good with it!  God made us to be parents!

OK, so I have to take an aside on sleep and thank a few people!  My parents spent the first week of Carter's life with us.  And can I tell you how absolutely amazing they are!  Scotty took the week off and neither of us had to cook, clean, wash our clothes; we did nothing but enjoy our son!  My daddy planned and cooked most of our meals and my mama did everything cleaning and caring!  Together they pampered us and allowed us to rest as much as we could and just relish in 

the moments!  I want everyone to know that I HAVE THE MOST AMAZING PARENTS IN THE WORLD! And one day, I would hope that Scotty and I will be in the same position with the same servants' heart as they to give so much to others.  They are such wonderful role models for me and our kids! Its going to be so much fun raising a child with such a great couple around!  The only thing that saddens me is that they are 7.5 hours away in Tyrone, GA and not just down the street!  Carter is going to be a different grandson experience for them too since we aren't just next door and they won't see us on a weekly basis like they have with my sisters' boys.  Oh, also, did we note that my brother had a baby boy on March 20th--Jett Christian Janowski.  Talk about fun going through this for the first time with a brother!  I just wish I could see them now!  Hopefully soon I will be able to go to GA to see them all!

Well, besides my parents sacrificing and giving so much, my sister has come down for this second week to help.  She has been wonderful!  Talk about been there, done that!  She has two crazy fun boys, Alan and Jonathan, 6 and 4, and boy do we have a lot to look forward to with a boy!  I have found sleepwise the greatest thing she has done is take Carter in the morning and I take a morning nap after little sleep nights.  It's the boost I need to make it through the day!  What am I going to do when everyone is gone? I have been so spoiled!  And I'm gateful for every bit of it!  Do you get it that my family is amazing!?!

Daddy, Mama and Tamara--Thank you so very much and I love you more than you know! May God be very near you and return your kindness 100-fold on your head!  You are the best ever.  I love you more! Haha!

Well, I have so much more I want to say but speaking of sleep Carter has fallen asleep on my chest and I need to get some other things done!  Thank you all for caring about us!

Well, Carter is 5 days today. Its amazing, I can't believe it almost been a week now. This morning we took him to get circumcised. Poor guy, we weren't allowed back to be with him but I could hear him scream for a while. Good thing is its over and you wouldn't even know it now. He has been sleeping , well like a baby. His Dr. says he is doing great. He is up to almost 9lbs. already! Amazing, he is only 5 days old and he is gaining weight. It has already been an exciting week. He has his first football injury. Wednesday, we took him to the Dr. and we found out he has a broken collarbone. Apparently sometime during birth he fractured his clavicle. Good news is it heals well and after being to the Dr. this morning, it has already begun to calcify. He is going to be a stud. He has already been a warrior dealing with an injury at such an early age. Shellie is doing better than she was earlier this week. She was in quite a bit of pain (from early beginnings of nursing). Thankfully, we were able to get a handle on it and she is feeling pretty good now. She is still struggling to get some sleep/rest but it is expected. Pray that in the hours available to her, she is able to rest. She has been amazing. She is such a good mother and has maintained being an amazing wife.  That is our prayer that we will always maintain a husband/wife relationship first.  This will allow for a healthy, loving parent relationship to follow. Don't get me wrong, Carter is now just as important in our lives as the two of us are to each other.  There is no one now more important to me than my beautiful wife and our gorgeous son. I am excited and thrilled to be a parent.  I am also thankful for our family and friends for being such a support and cannot wait for these people to impact our children's lives.  Shellie's parents have been here all week and made it here just in time to be a part of Carter's birth. Something I will always cherish is the fact that our parents, my grandmother and my sister were all able to witness and experience our first child. That is a memory I will hold dear in my heart. To Mom, Dad, Mama J, Daddy J, Grandmammy and Michelle I love you all very much...Thank you for being apart of this. Friends, I can't wait to introduce you to Carter.